Friday, May 29, 2009

Russian Scientist: UFO Crashed Into Meteorite to Save Earth

Did a UFO deliberately crash into a meteor to save Earth 100 years ago? That's what one Russian scientist is claiming. E.T. is your friend.

An 82-year-old Central Florida man was arrested on suspicion of beating his girlfriend unconscious because she loaded the dishwasher incorrectly. I'd hate to see what would happen if she paired up the wrong socks.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Clerk gives robber $40 from own pocket for insulin

A convenience store clerk wouldn't open the register for a robber but gave the man $40 from his own pocket after the robber told him he needed the money for insulin Nicest robbery ever. All robbries should go this smooth.


A Russian woman got so upset by the news that her boyfriend intended to leave her that she tied several firecrackers to his penis and exploded them, the web-site reports. That's just not right.

Teen wolf could have done it.

Kid reenacts part out of teen wolf but not the part where teen wolf wins the big game and becomes the town hero. I want to see teen wolf three in theaters soon. But, have teen wolf be like fifty some years old, still living with his Dad and possibly with a alcohol problem. Cause we all remember the "give me a keg of beer" scene. That was the start of a huge downward spiral for teen wolf.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dolphins making some off season waves

Some off season NFL news and it's not about Brent Farve! Two weeks after forging a partnership with Jimmy Buffett, Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross unveiled his newest idea Wednesday: giving hand-held devices to premium-seat holders. And it's not the hand held device shown above. But, that would be an even better idea.

U.S. Cancer Death Rates Continue to Fall

I'm not saying you should start cause it's a b!%#* trying to quit. But, cancer rates are going down and you've gotta die from something. Actually, I've had family members go through cancer treatment and it's something that doesn't look like any fun. So maybe I should think about quiting.

8 Toxic personalities to avoid

Are you or someone you know a Debbie Downer? Or maybe a Judgemental Jim? I can put faces to some of these 8 toxic personalities. But, I hope that I don't fall in one of these categories. Do you?

Hef to sell Playboy?

Playboy's denies it and I don't think that anybody wants to believe that Playboy could fall into the hands of the British. But, it looks like it could happen. That means all the ladies in there are going to have bad teeth and to much clothes on. Playboy's kinda lame as it is, just wait till the British get a hold of it. Click on the pic to see who's in talks of buying Playboy

Jose Canseco a.k.a. "D-Bag" Makes his MMA debut

Striding to the ring wearing blue gloves, no shirt, and wielding a baseball bat, former MLB superstar Jose Canseco looked every inch a cartoon superhero in the moments leading up to his professional mixed martial arts debut.
He also look petrified. He had good reason.
His opponent: 7'2" 330 lb. South Korean kickboxing monster, Hong Man Choi, a fighter so humongous that, when entering the ring, he stepped over the ring ropes rather than through them.

Friday, May 22, 2009

IT workers are best in bed

Not sure about you guys but I know I have a laptop, a huge hard drive, know which buttons to press and I'm good at IT. You can reach me at the usual address ladies.

This is why I eat freedom fries

Police: Cecil Co. teen beats mom over french fries. McDonald's has them on their dollar menu. So this hole thing could have been avoided if the little psycho had a buck.

Second Worst Movie Ever

I've seen a DVD of one of their concerts and I thought that it was ok. But a movie? These guys don't talk and when their not making music they just look at each other like a bunch of freaks. So how is this movie going to work? I think that it's going to be an hour and a half of them just staring at each other.

Danica Patrick

Just because she's hot. Also it is Memorial Day weekend so she is going to be racing in the Indianapolis 500 so I guess that's another reason. She'll be starting tenth.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gilbert Grape's Mother Dies

The Marion County Coroner's Office in Indianapolis has come under fire after it was revealed that an obese woman was dragged from her home and hauled away on a trailer in front of family members following her death.

Man run over by two trains escapes with scrapes and bruises

A drunk man who bunked down for a night’s sleep in a railyard near Erfurt narrowly escaped it being his last. After being run over by two trains he walked away with minor scratches.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

GPS Units May Guide Elderly Through Supermarkets. That would be terrible getting lost in a supermarket. "That's the sixth time I've passed the milk today where the hell is the bread isle!" But then again all the elderly I know have a hard time working any kind of phone that's not rotary. So I don't think that they'll be able to work a GPS unit.

Alex Rodriguez gives A Rod to Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez May Be More than “Just Friends” The actress and the baseball star were caught making out at a restaurant. They were also sharing eye liner.

The Longest Flight By A Paper Airplane

Making paper airplanes
are not new – in fact, a lot of you must have done it while in school, and some in colleges too. In retrospect today, what do you think, how successful were you in making those planes? Not much, right? Well, meet this gentleman from Japan who has created a new world record by managing to keep his paper airplane aloft for 27.8 seconds.

A man who twice beat his girlfriend got his punishment today — 60 hours working out at the gym. Seems like a strange punishment right? Does the judge want him to beef up so the next time he hits her it's a good one?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bodybuilders Don't Have The Balls To Face Doping Officials

Belgian bodybuilders run from doping officials during championship. What would make you think that these guys are on steroids? Watching these guys try to run had to be the funniest thing ever.

Russian doctors marvel at big momma's birth

Doctors in Moscow are congratulating themselves on the birth of a baby to a woman whose severe obesity would normally preclude conception, a newspaper reported. I wonder if the Father will come foward, doubt it.

Bad Cop

Veteran Ill. sheriff accused of trafficking pot. Maybe that's why he liked doughnuts so much.

Drunk and.........

"We Got Horny..."
Cops: Kids on board while Ohio couple got busy in car's front seat.

Monday, May 18, 2009


Dallas Couple Sees 'Cheesus' In Snack.
If it would have showed up as a Frito I would have known that it was bogus. But, Cheetos, I could see the son of God being down with the cheesiest.

Friday, May 15, 2009

2 Yellowstone workers fired after watering geyser
I think that Old Faithful should have fired back.

A Hooker For My Boy.

Man sought prostitute for son, 14
A father who asked an undercover police officer posing as a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity has been given a suspended prison sentence. Kids are hard to shop for. Maybe it was his birthday, he's not into video games and Dad just wanted to one up Mom's gift.

Nicotine Ninja

Police: 'Nicotine Ninja' prefers brand-name cigs
prefers brand-name cigs. They believe he's responsible for stealing over $120,000 in cigs.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Does This Guy Look Like He Can Party Or What?

Amish teen ticketed for having beer in buggy. They make some quality hand made stuff but, they also make some good drinking buddies.

Every One's Getting Stabbed

A TAIWAN carpenter bought a porn DVD only to find secretly taped motel footage of his wife having sex with his friend, whom the husband later stabbed.

Hey Rocky, Watch Me Fly.

Motorist says 500-pound moose 'fell out of the sky' on highway overpass. He should have stuck to pulling things out of his hat.

I'm Gonna Shoot Ya!!

SC Waffle House Waitress Shoots Customer After Complaint.
That's even worse than spitting in the food. Which I kind of expect if I complain at a restaurant. That's why if I order a hamburger and I get a hot dog. Well, I must have wanted a hot dog.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Not So Fast Grandma

Former “Partridge Family” mom Shirley Jones is keeping her clothes on. Thank you Hef! I don' t think that anyone would want to see a 75 year old woman naked. Not even an 80 year old man. I know that I wouldn't by a Playboy just to see that. Now Megan Fox on the other hand...

Crikey There's A Snake In The Sh#@&$r!!

A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit him as sat on the toilet at his rural home, a local media reported on Monday. If this ever happened to me I think that I would hover for the rest of my life. That, or just not go.

Aspiring Rapper Robs Florida Store to Gain 'Street Credibility,' Police Say. But he did it with a BB gun. Not too gangster, he's seen A Christmas Story one too many times and thought that his BB gun could do the same as Ralphie's, and take out Black Bart.

Friday, May 8, 2009


We'll never forget you Brent!
A new report says that Favre might actually have meant what he said when he said he was retired. Let's hope so cause I really don't think I could handle life if he was a Viking, could you? Probably not, right? No one should have to go through life being a Viking. That's what made Warren Moon hit his wife, and we all like Deanna.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

La Crosse Needs A Lame Superhero

click on Shadow Hare for more info
Broke-Ass Supervillain After Shadow Hare

An evil genius has placed a $10 bounty on the masked super-hero roaming the streets of Cincinnati -- which means Shadow Hare officially has an arch-enemy ... and he's really, really cheap. A supervillain from the "Consortium of Evil" has posted a "want ad" on his local Craigslist website -- offering ten evil dollars to anyone who can reveal the secret identity of the world's skinniest crime-fighter.We tried to contact the Consortium of Evil to see how his evil plans were going, but we couldn't find a phone number listing for "The Dark Side."


What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING! Talk about sleeping with the enemy. If this happens I could care less about what happens with the Bears and the Lions. I would just hope that what ever happens the Packers beat the Vikings both times.

Could legalizing Marijuana fix the economy? I say let's give it a try. If it doesn't at least we'll forget how bad it is.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Glamour Magazine has a list of the ten things men are thinking when they see a woman naked.

I only think of probably around five things when i see a naked lady.

1. Sweet!
2. Oh man this is really gonna happen!
3.Shouldn't have had that last six pack.
4. What's the deal with Stewie on Family Guy? Why does it seem like sometimes people know what he's saying and other times no one but Brian can understand him? What's up with that?
5. I'm really glad I bought that Al Green CD, thanks Al.

Monday, May 4, 2009

A Tennessee Couple Claims That They Shared Their First Kiss On There Wedding Day.....But I'm Thinking That's Their Only First That Day. Plus, If That's True, That's Lame.
The Brett Favre Saga Continues.....How Old Is This Getting? Let's Just Hope That He's Still Enough Of A Man To Realize That Real Men Don't Where Purple.