Petroleum jelly is not the same as jelly buddy

Still not wearing a shirt, Marbury -- who insists he's neither on drugs nor out of his mind -- threw down a finger-full of the petroleum jelly ... and then declared he wanted someone to write him a check for "a billion dollars" so he could start his own TV network "like Oprah ."

You suck Vick! Michael.

Vick tops list of sports' most hated people
Formerly imprisoned dogfighter ahead of A-Rod, Kobe, Manny, T.O. in poll. If Favre would have worn purple he'd be at the top of my list.

Police bust canary fighting operation

Nineteen people were arrested Sunday after police raided a home and seized 150 canaries and finches in a suspected bird fighting ring.

Man Jailed Over Monopoly Game

According to Fraser police Lt. Dan Kolke, "She advised that she was plaing Monopoly with a male friend. He wanted to buy Boardwalk and Park Place. She refused to do it, so he got mad and hit her in the head, knocking her glasses off and breaking them." I wonder if he had a get of jail free card.

Stable owner catches man having sex with horse

A South Carolina man was charged with having sex with a horse after the animal's owner caught the act on videotape, then staked out the stable and caught him at shotgun point, authorities said Wednesday.
But this wasn't the first time Rodell Vereen has been charged. He pleaded guilty last year to having sex with the same horse after owner Barbara Kenley found him in the same stable. Then he was sentenced to probation and placed on the state's sex offender list

You owe him more than a peck on the cheek

A beluga whale in a Chinese aquarium has rescued a drowning diver by pushing her out of the water.
A spokesman for Harbin Polar Land in the country's north-east Heilongjiang province said the diver had been taking part in a competition at the aquarium when she began suffering sudden cramps in her legs.

New York gives homeless people a one-way ticket to leave city

New York has found a novel, if expensive, way of dealing with its overcrowded shelters – buying one-way tickets for homeless families to leave the city.

Spelling mistake leads couple 400 miles off course

Officials say a Swedish couple looking for the pristine waters of the popular island of Capri ended some 400 miles away in the northern industrial town of Carpi after misspelling the destination on their car's GPS. Really? Wow. What's the matter with these people?

Thanks Brett!!!

Favre opts to remain retired. He would have looked stupid in purple anyway, everyone else does.

Two many Neil's for one city

One short name, one giant headache for Ohio man.
Sharing a name with someone who lives in your area isn't usually a big deal - unless your name is Neil Armstrong. I would just lie and say that I am the Neil Armstrong that went to the moon. Even though I'm 78 I still look 38 because the moon is like one big fountain of youth.

Jon Stewart Most Trusted Newsman

Now that legendary newsman Walter Cronkite has passed, America's most trusted newscaster is "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart, according to a new poll conducted by Time magazine .

Dentist sued; tools fell into man's throat

A Winter Park, Fla., dentist who twice dropped tools down the throat of an elderly patient — a 90-year-old man who died after the second incident — is being sued for negligence. That's not the worst thing that can end up in your throat when your sedated at a dentist office from what I hear.

Beastie Boy Adam Yauch Diagnosed With Cancer

Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, aka “MCA” has announced that he is suffering from cancer.
In a statement via YouTube and posted on the band’s Web site, Yauch said he was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his left parotid, or salivary, gland.
“Luckily it was caught early and is localized in one area,”.

Bam Margera Overdose? Mom Says He was "Severely Dehydrated"

TMZ reported that state troopers and paramedics were at the scene at Bam's West Chester home and that the "Jackass" and "Nitro Circus" star may have been the victim of a "possible overdose."

Want some pot? There's an app for that.

You can find just about anything using your cell phone. Now, a controversial new iPhone app can put you in touch with the closest marijuana dealer.

Kelly Hildebrandt will marry Kelly Hildebrandt.

This isn't a joke. An engaged Florida couple has the same first and last name. And probably the same Great Grandpa.

He was cheating with himself.

Woman stabbed "cheater" boyfriend after catching him wanking.

Brewers, Brewers, keep freaking the other teams out!

Travelling baseball teams fear staying in 'haunted' Milwaukee hotel

Fielder wins Home Run Derby

Brewers, Brewers, keep turning up the heat!!With Albert Pujols and Ryan Howard eliminated early, Fielder won baseball's Home Run Derby on Monday night with a steady power display that included a jaw-dropping drive estimated at 503 feet.

Gordan Ramsay Feels No Pain.

That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests.

Where are America's safest drivers?

Maybe it's the wide streets or road-rage-calming waterfalls. But drivers are just better out in Sioux Falls, S.D. In fact, according to insurance company Allstate's annual city-by-city accident report, released Wednesday, Sioux Falls has the safest drivers in the country. Sure their drivers are the safest, but is it really worth it if you have to live in Sioux Falls?

Hot for Teacher?

Crystal Defanti Teacher Sex Tape Shakes Up Sacramento, California Area School

If you have a hard time crawling out of bed in the morning, it could be that your body is biologically programmed to start the day later.

Police say a Connecticut man has been arrested because he showed up at a dental office naked. Police say 41-year-old Christopher Hoff, of Stratford, also was five days late for his appointment

Is it really worth it if you end up looking like this?

Nathan's hot dog eating contest 2009: Joey Chesnut defends title, sets world record with 68 dogs.

The wife of slain quarterback Steve McNair may have only learned about the gridiron star's affair with a gorgeous young woman after the clandestine couple's grisly deaths, sources close to the football player said Sunday.