Surgeons find fir tree 'growing inside patient's lung
Russian surgeons have claimed to have found a two-inch fir tree growing inside a man's lung.
The amazing 'discovery' was apparently made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour.
Mr Sidorkin had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer.
"We were 100 per cent sure," said Vladimir Kamashev, a surgeon in Izhevsk in the Urals. "We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.
"I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery."
Before removing part of the man's lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue.
"I thought I was hallucinating," said Mr Kamashev. "I asked my assistant to have a look: 'Come and see this – we've got a fir tree here'. He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things."
Medical staff said that Mr Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.
The spruce, which was said to be touching the man's capillaries and causing severe pain, was removed.
"It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me," said Mr Sidorkin. "I'm so relieved it's not cancer."
There was no independent verification of the surgeon's claims.

Hair Stylist Keeps Armed Robber as Sex Slave

The Moscow TimesIn what is either the weirdest Russian crime story of the year so far or a new low in yellow crime journalism, a female hair stylist in the Kaluga region is suspected of holding an armed robber in captivity as a sex slave for two days after he unsuccessfully tried to knock over her beauty salon. Attentive Crime Watch readers will need little more than the first paragraph of this post to understand that this bizarre saga was relayed by the intrepid crime hacks over at the web site Life.ru, which, together with newspaper Tvoi Den, is setting the bar extremely high for sensationalist scoops. According to Life.ru, the events unfolded on the evening of March 14 as the stylist was wrapping up her shift at the salon in the Kaluga region town of Meshchovsk. The robber, a 32-year-old man identified by Life.ru as "Viktor," burst into the salon at around 5 p.m. waving a pistol and ordered all of the stylists and clients to hit the floor and toss him their money. At this point, 28-year-old Olga, whom Life.ru describes as a "delicate" girl trained in martial arts, was apparently still standing when she offered to hand over her cash. But when Viktor tried to accept her contribution, Olga surprised him with a quick punch to the chest, knocking the wind out of him before she flipped him to the ground. Olga proceeded to tie Viktor up with a hair-dryer cord, gagged him and dragged him into a storage room. Curiously, Life.ru reports, Olga instructed the others to keep working, telling them that the police would soon arrive. But this feel-good moment for the good guy proved ephemeral. Things soon turned ugly, according to Life.ru. The police did not come. And after the other stylists and clients went home for the evening, Olga told Viktor to "take off his underwear" and, with apologies to John Cougar Mellencamp, let her do as she pleases, lest she call the cops, Life.ru said. She tied him to the radiator with handcuffs covered in frilly pink fabric, gave him some Viagra and had her way with him several times over the next 48 hours. When she finally let him go on the evening of March 16, Viktor had been "squeezed like a lemon," Life.ru reported. First, he went to the hospital to have his injured genitals treated; then he went to police and filed a complaint asking that Olga be brought up on criminal charges for committing "actions of a sexual nature" that left him with injured sexual organs, according to a copy of the complaint posted on Life.ru. Olga was apparently incensed when she learned of the complaint. She had, after all, even tried to be nice to her purported captive. "What a jerk," Life.ru quoted her as saying. "Yeah, there were a few times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and drink, and gave him 1,000 rubles when he left." The following day, Olga filed a complaint with police, asking that Viktor be charged in the salon robbery. Life.ru posted a copy of her statement as well. "I don't know what's going to happen now," the web site quoted a local police officer as saying. "We could put both of them behind bars: him for robbery, her for rape and assault." I'm exhausted.

Man jailed for dodging child support for 14 kids

FLINT, Mich. (AP) — Authorities in Michigan say a man fathered 14 children with 13 different women and owes more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.
The Flint Journal reports 42-year-old Thomas Frazier was jailed Thursday. Court records say he hasn't made a support payment in six years.
The newspaper says the unemployed man could be held for 90 days if he doesn't pay $27,900.
Frazier says he thinks he fathered only three of the children and that it's unrealistic for authorities to expect him to pay child support that was $3,000 a month at one point.
Frazier remains held at the Genesee County Jail. It wasn't immediately clear if he had a lawyer who could speak for him.

PEOPLE DO EVERYTHING ELSE WHILE DRIVING, WHY NOT HAVE SOME SEX.

Police nab Norwegian pair during high-speed sex
Buzz Up

A Norwegian man faces a heavy fine and a driving ban after police caught him having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on the motorway, police said Monday.
The unnamed couple, a 28-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman, were caught in the act late on Easter Sunday by traffic police on the E18 highway, some 40 kilometres (25 miles) west of Oslo.
Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133 kilometres per hour in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP.
"It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.
"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.
"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."
After following the couple for nearly a kilometre, officers pulled the car over at a service station.
"We have taken away his driving licence because of the danger that he caused," Hagen said.
Prosecutors will decide within the next week what his punishment will be, with police having filmed the incident to use as evidence against the driver.
Hagen said he expected the man to face a fine of "several thousand Norwegian crowns" and a lengthy driving ban.

A 19-year-old woman who was breast-feeding her baby whilst driving intoxicated was arrested in Alice Springs just before 7pm last night.Police said the woman drove out of the Gap View Hotel carpark onto Gap Road into the path of on on-coming police car. Police avoided colliding with the woman’s vehicle, and she was apprehended a short distance along Gap Road. Police said the driver was breast-feeding her four-month-old son as she was driving the Holden Commodore Station Wagon.She was taken into custody and the baby was given into the care of relatives. The woman has been charged with: * Failing to provide a breath sample * Drive whilst disqualified * Drive an unregistered and uninsured motor vehicle * Failing to give way to the right * Driving with a child under 12 months unrestrained She has been bailed to appear in the Alice Springs Magistrates Court on April 23

Creative Drunk Gets DUI on Motorized Bar Stool

Warning: It's best to cue the song "Dueling Banjos" before reading the following story: Some MacGyver-esque drunkard in Ohio is facing DUI charges after crashing a bar stool he was driving -- HE WAS DRIVING!Cops arrived to the scene around 5:41 PM on March 4, arrested the guy, and filed a police report ... here are the highlights ... it's classic."Unit #1 was heading west bound on Kelly Lane. Unit #1 attempted to turn around (180 degrees), and back down Kelly east bound. As Unit #1 began its turn, it rolled over and the operator was injured.""Note: Unit #1 was a home made [sic] motor vehicle, a bar stool attached to a frame with a lawn mower attached.""At this point I noticed that Mr. Wygle's eye's [SIC] were very blood shot and were glassy in appearance.""I asked him what happened, Mr. Wygle stated, 'I wrecked my bar stool.'""I asked Mr. Wygle how much alcohol he had to drink, he said, 'a lot.'"
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