HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

New Year's Eve: That time spent going off your nut with friends and strangers after Christmas. It will never, ever, ever be as good as you think it's going to be. Click on the pic to see how N.Y.E. stacks up against a regular night out on the town.

Best Mug Shots Of The Decade.

After careful consideration, the guys at TSG have come up with the mug shots of the decade. If you thought 2009 was bad, just you wait

SD authorities say driver's blood alcohol was .708

South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen delivery van earlier this month registered a blood alcohol content of .708 — nearly nine times the legal limit and a possible record for the state. That's insane, I thought that you were supposed to die at .5. Click on the pic for the full story.

Funeral home offers drunk drivers a free burial

ROME, Ga. (AP) - Planning to drink and drive this New Year's? A north Georgia funeral home has a deal for you. Between now and noon Thursday, drivers can visit McGuire, Jennings and Miller Funeral Home in Rome to sign a contract stating they plan to drink or take drugs and then drive on New Year's Eve. If they die in a wreck that day, the funeral home will give them a free burial. Services included in the package are a casket, grave, limousine and preparation of remains. Funeral home officials said the program is designed to save lives by making partygoers think twice about drinking and driving.

Singer Van Morrison becomes father again at 64

A statement posted on the singer's website announced the birth of George Ivan Morrison III to the musician and Gigi Lee, who manages him.
It described the newest Morrison, born on Monday, as "the spitting image of his daddy".

Great holiday prank

A Chicago man could be unwrapping the hundreds of Christmas gifts spread around his apartment for days, even weeks.
Trouble is, they aren't really presents. They're his own belongings meticulously wrapped by friends as a prank while he was out of town.
Louie Saunders' packages contain everything from couch cushions to the beer in his refrigerator. His friend Adal Rifai masterminded the scheme after Saunders gave him a spare key. It took 16 people, 35 rolls of wrapping paper and eight hours to finish the job. Saunders tells the Chicago Sun-Times he's only been able to unwrap about 10 percent of the packages. He jokes that the upside is that, with each package he unwraps, he finds something inside that's just what he needs.

She's a sexy nerd

These women define what it means to be smart, quirky, and incredibly hot all at once. They project strong, positive role models to the public, and emphasize that being a geek and loving it isn’t only okay, it’s amazing. Click on the pic to check out the top ten sexy nerds of 2009.

A Festivus For The Rest Of Us!

It's December 23rd, and you know what that means; it's time to put up the pole, prepare for the Airing of Grievances, and of course have the Feats of Strength. Happy Festivus, everyone! Click on the pic for everything you need to know about Festivus.

Listening To This Guy Will Get You Killed

A Bulgarian man has been sentenced to 16 years prison for the murder of his neighbor, who he says played the same song, at top volume, constantly, for more than a week. Click on the pic for more on the story and to check out the song that got some guy killed. After listening to the song I can't really blame the guy.

Hangover Severity vs. Color Of Alcohol - Holiday Tips

It's not enough to "sleep it off" after a night of drinking. According to a study just released, the effects of intoxication last long after the booze is out of the blood, not only leaving a nasty hangover but also slowing reaction times and the ability to concentrate the next morning.
Rhode Island and Massachusetts researchers found that it didn't matter whether the liquor consumed was clear or dark; the level of brain impairment was the same the next morning. Click on the pic for more on this story.

Woman attacks Santa after photo shoot and goes right onto the naughty list

A woman Downtown was arrested on Monday for assaulting Santa Claus and public intoxication. Two acquaintances also were held on public intoxication charges, and all three were booked for possession of alcohol by a minor. The incident happened at the Pennsylvania Street plaza outside Conseco Fieldhouse before the Milwaukee Bucks-Indiana Pacers game about 6:45 p.m. Monday, according to a report from the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department. Police were watching the crowd outside Conseco Fieldhouse when they saw a woman take a picture of a man portraying Santa, then rip the beard off Santa's face.
Officers checked the Santa's helper, who told them it hurt when the firmly attached beard was ripped away. The Santa also said it appeared the woman who pulled the beard was extremely intoxicated.

Girls who have sex in their teens are at greater risk of developing cervical cancer, being popular

Women double the risk of developing cervical cancer if they have sex at an early age, warn researchers.
A study shows they are at greater risk from the disease by becoming sexually active at a young age, prompting campaigners to repeat calls for the screening age limit to be lowered.
In England, women do not qualify for NHS screening until they reach 25, perhaps ten years after they may have contracted HPV, the sexually transmitted virus that causes most cases of cervical cancer. Check out the rest of the story by clicking on the pic.

policeman 'draws gun' at Washington snowball fight

Police are investigating a detective who appears to draw his gun during a mass snowball fight on the streets of Washington DC.
Video taken at the scene shows people pelting a man with snowballs after his car, a Hummer, gets stuck in the snow.
The man - not in uniform at the time - then appears to pull out a gun while an angry crowd gathers and chants: "Don't bring a gun to a snowball fight."
DC police refused to comment, telling the BBC an investigation was under way. I'm guessing that the guy with the gun won.

Actress Brittany Murphy dead at 32

Brittany Murphy, the bubbly, free-spirited actress who appeared in such films as "Clueless" and "8 Mile," died Sunday, apparently of natural causes, the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office said. She was 32.

Study: Santa, You Need to Lose Weight

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus. And he's a public health menace. Public health expert Nathan Grills of Monash University in Australia says the beloved Christmas icon should ditch his sleigh and start biking or walking to lose his jelly belly. Click on the pic for more on this story.

Bengals' Chris Henry Dies Day After Dispute

His multiple arrests during a five year NFL career were among the factors prompting the league to toughen it's personal conduct policy. But to hear his teammates tell it even the teams owner the Cincinnati Bengals receiver was determined to leave his troubled past and move ahead toward a bright future. Tragically, his efforts were cut short when he died from injuries in what police said was a domestic dispute with his fiancee.

The 10 most irritating people of 2009

And the winner is..........

(click on the pic to find out)

Drunk Santa scares kids while looking for his reindeer

A drunken Santa Claus prompts a mom to call 911 after he stumbles into her yard apparently looking for his reindeer and scaring her kids.
Officers ticketed 55-year-old Thomas Arnold of Sparta for having an open beer in a car. The man driving that car, 47-year-old Kevin Arnold, was arrested for OWI.
But, the kids say they knew right away this Santa was a hoax.
"He smelled like alcohol. So I knew it wasn't the real Santa because Santa doesn't drink alcohol," says 9-year-old Katie Dockerty.
Katie says the Santa that ended up in her lawn was loud and had really dirty hands. She says he tried to put his hat on her little sister. Six-year-old Zoe describes him in one word: “Drunk."
"He was yelling at them 'have you seen my reindeer? If you see my reindeer, call me right away,’" says Tina Reinart, the girls’ mom.
Reinart called the police instead. I'd bet that Santa probably throws back a few eggnog's around this time of year. Also, this is something that would only happen in Wisconsin. I love this state!

Swedish troops in Afghanistan in trouble for not paying local women for "massages". Don't worry the story has a happy ending.

In a written internal document submitted from Swedish headquarters at Camp Northern Lights, Gender Field Adviser Captain Krister Fahlstedt of Afghanistan force FS17 took exception to an army contract specifying that on-base massage services should be provided exclusively by men. I didn't know the Swiss had an army. Oh, wait, they have those cool knifes.

The North Face files lawsuit, claims 'The South Butt' parody brand is trademark infringement

The North Face Apparel Corp. is suing parody company called The South Butt and the teenager who started it.
The lawsuit filed last week in federal court in St. Louis seeks unspecified damages and asks the court to prohibit The South Butt from marketing and selling its parody product line. If anything their just promoting it by suing them, right? I'm gonna get me some South Butt, that sounds sexy.

Deer walks around with Christmas lights tangled in antlers

deer is wandering around Colorado Springs with some unwanted Christmas decorations attached to him.The large male deer has managed to get his antlers tangled in Christmas lights. Cameras caught up with the buck as he made his way around town during the weekend. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer better watch out, he's got one lame light on his nose, this deer is covered in them.

Truck driver arrested for urinating into woman's apartment

Man has crush on woman and wants to get her to notice him. Does he a) send her flowers, b) buy her candy or c) urinate through her mail slot.

Tis the season

A great way to get festive this holiday season is to put up some Christmas lights, and you minus well be original when you do it, right?

Tiger admits 'infidelity', will take break from golf

Tiger Woods will take an indefinite leave from golf to try to save his marriage, the biggest fallout yet from two shocking weeks filled with allegations of extramarital relations with several women. "I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person," Woods said on his Web site Friday. Woods and his wife, Elin, have been married five years and have a 2-year-old daughter and a 10-month-old son. Probably so he can bang some more random chicks.

Woman accused of drunken ride in Christmas parade

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - A woman has posted $500 bond on a charge of public intoxication after police said she passed out on a horse she rode in the Shelbyville Christmas parade. According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, a 46-year-old woman was found slumped over on her horse outside a motel. Police said they had been notified of a possibly intoxicated rider in a red coat on a white horse in the parade Saturday night.
Officers said they had to catch her twice to keep her from falling. She must have had one too many Fudd's.

Meet the rhino, the male cougar

IT'S time to address a gender imbalance. I'm talking about Cougars. As in, it's all good and well to have a "fun" moniker for mature single women but what about their male counterpart. According to The Urban Dictionary, the male version of the cougar is a “rhino”. Why? According to the website’s definition it’s “because the specimen is more often than not both horny AND ugly.”

Chemical compound found in hops may prevent prostate cancer. It probably doesn't, but drink your beer, just to be on the safe side

Hope for guys: Beer ingredient eyed in prostate cancer prevention. An ingredient of beer may someday help ward off prostate cancer, new animal experiments suggest.
The compound in question, xanthohumol, is found in hops — the bitter flavoring agent in beer — and is known to block the male hormone testosterone, which plays a role in the development of prostate cancer.

The Great Snowman Wall Of Gilman St.

Check out this YouTube video from the snow storm the other night. It's Gilman St. in downtown Madison it's pretty funny how the snow plow drivers react.

Police: Amish man found drunk, asleep in moving buggy

A slow-moving horse and buggy led to the drunk driving arrest of a local Amish man.
Elmer Stoltzfoos Fisher, 22, of Paradise, was found slumped over and asleep in a buggy that was moving very slowly in the first block of North Ronks Road on Sunday night. East Lampeter Township police received a call at 9:05 p.m. Sunday from off-duty Quarryville police officer Jesse Blank about the possible DUI. A car driven by Blank came up behind the buggy, which he said was moving at a walking pace. The horse was pulling the buggy along the road, straddling the center line. Sensing a problem, Blank stopped his car. His passenger, Nate Perry, got out and approached the buggy on foot. Stopping the horse, Perry found Fisher slumped over and asleep.

New study finds that casual sex does not lead to low self-esteem. Burning pee and syphilis, yes, but not low self-esteem

When asked more than 1,300 young Minnesota adults about their most recent sexual encounters, their self-esteem and their emotional well-being. Interestingly, only about one-fifth of the subjects said their last encounter was casual. But their overall emotional status was no different than the four-fifths who said they were in committed relationships with their most recent sexual partner.

Car Flies 20 Feet In Air, Lands In Trees

A car fleeing a traffic stop in Central Florida went airborne for 150 feet and landed in some trees after striking a culvert, deputies said. Marion County deputies said Christopher Watson was speeding in his 1995 Ford Taurus on Highway 484 Monday evening when he caught a deputy's attention.
Watson, who was driving on a suspended license, refused a deputy's attempt to pull him over and swerved onto the shoulder of the road and struck a culvert, deputies said.
Upon impact, the Taurus went 15 to 20 feet into the air for about 150 feet before landing on its roof in a cluster of trees, deputies said. The sheriff's office said Watson was treated at an Orlando hospital and will be charged with fleeing or attempting to elude a law enforcement officer and driving with a suspended license.

The six scariest processed foods the world has ever seen, or as they are known in America, 'lunch'

Once upon a time, some brave scientists had a noble dream of ridding our food of the plague of nutrients.
Today, at the start of the 21st century, the miracle of food processing has brought that dream closer to reality than ever before. From vitamin-free "blueberry bits" to spray-can cheese to avocado-free guacamole, food scientists have worked tirelessly to bring us new and exciting foods that contain as little nutrition as possible. Even apparently "healthy" foods such as soups have been ingeniously overloaded with so much salt you feel as if you’re eating French fries.

NY club gal, Fla. waitress join Tiger Woods' 'harem'

There's no end in sight for this Tiger's tale -- with as many as nine birdies now in the picture.
A 26-year-old former cocktail waitress in Orlando, Fla., is the latest to brag about dallying with Tiger Woods -- claiming to have carried on a nearly two-year affair with him before and during his marriage to Elin Nordegren.
The waitress comes on the heels of New Yorker Cori Rist, who reportedly took up with the golf great after meeting him on the Manhattan club scene and who became his sixth named alleged mistress.
The unidentified cocktail waitress, No. 7, is being repped by Florida lawyer Michael O'Quinn, who told The Post yesterday that the single gal, who met Tiger at Orlando's Roxy Nightclub, now "has a corporate job" and doesn't want to be identified -- yet.

Iowa Woman Tries To Trade Sex For Gas

An Iowa City woman who tried to trade sex for gasoline faces prostitution charges. Police say when they approached 44-year-old Lisa Langer in an unmarked car early Wednesday morning, she offered them sex, but asked for gas in return.

Best Job Ever

The University of Leeds is advertising for a lap dance researcher. The advertised position, in the School of Sociology and Social Policy, is for: “Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy”.

15 Toys NOT To Buy Your Kids This Christmas

There are so many options out there, please do not buy your children these boring, inappropriate, or crazy toys. Please. Make sure you check out Elmo making death threats.

Tiger Woods scored another hole in one

A cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, has come forward with claims that she has been having an affair with the golfer Tiger Woods, alleging that she has photos and text messages to prove it.

Goodwill Receives a Pricey but Illegal Donation

Tis the season for giving, and as donations pour into thrift stores, a local Goodwill received a $1,500 donation. The only problem is, it's illegal in stores and on the street. Imagine the surprise on an employees face who opens a water jug and finds one pound of marijuana. That's exactly what happened Friday at the Goodwill on Colgate Drive in Marietta. A two gallon metal water jug was donated to Goodwill, but Marietta police say when employees opened it, they found four bags of marijuana that together equal about a pound. Police say it has a street value of around $1,500.

An eye for an eye. New hotness: A shoe for a shoe

The Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at former U.S. President George W. Bush has himself become the target of a shoe thrower.
While speaking at a press conference in Paris on Tuesday, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, was nearly hit in the face by a shoe. If you were wondering what W's been up to since he left office well here ya have it.

WTF? Really?

Pizza Man 'Smelled Pot', Calls Cops.

I didn't expect to ever see this headline.

Boston brewer pushes new limits on extreme beer

It is banned in 13 states and sure doesn't come in a six-pack.
The maker of Samuel Adams beer has released an updated version of its biennial beer Utopias — now the highest alcohol content beer on the market. At 27 percent alcohol by volume and $150 a bottle, the limited release of the brandy-colored Utopias comes as more brewers take advantage of improvements in science to boost potency and enhance taste.
"Just part of trying to push the envelope," said Jim Koch, founder and owner of the Boston Beer Co. the maker of Sam Adams. "I'm pushing it beyond what the laws of these 13 states ever contemplated when they passed those laws decades ago."

Who'd You Rather?

Search: Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel
Speculation surrounds the circumstances of Tiger Woods' recent one-car accident. Get the latest news. Unclear, too, is the role of his wife, Elin Nordegren. But here's what we do know about the alleged other woman, Rachel Uchitel. No interviews: Woods crashed his SUV early Saturday morning. A neighbor rang 911. Hear the call. Since then, the golf great has declined police interview requests, commenting only via this statement. He also pulled out of this tournament.

Answer to booze problems may lie in cannabis

Amanda Reiman, University of California, Berkeley, USA, carried out the study at Berkeley Patient’s Group, and found that 40 per cent of the 350 cannabis users quizzed resorted to the drug to control their alcohol cravings. The poll further discovered that 66 users consumed cannabis as a replacement for prescription drugs and 26 per cent for other, more potent, illegal drugs. If this was the first step in a twelve step program I might just say I'm an alcoholic. Then never get past the first step.

7 Inventors You Didn't Know You Wanted to Punch In the Face

Throughout the course of an average day, you're probably faced with 10 to 20 different things that make you say, "Man, if I knew who came up with that idea, I'd punch them clean in the face." But where do you place that absolutely understandable rage? You place it on these people. With your fist, if possible.